NYCC 09 (Why Deadpool Owes Me a Drink)

In forty-eight hours I shook Dusty Rhodes' hand, met Unemployed Skeletor, bought awesome art for myself from Chris Uminga, and another baby sketch for gf-of-Apocalypse from Tom Raney. Of course I also snapped some pics of the promotions and cosplayers.




Is "Yatter" Japanese for "tighty-whitey?" All I know is, this logo passed through SEVERAL hands before apparently resulting in a hero with a pair of drauze on his chest. (With a swooped waist to accentuate the gut. And a shaded-taint-area. These are totally some Grandad Freeman undies.) Does that say "The Ultimate Entertainment: Testicles from Japan?" I mean, hey, I like being entertained - but I think I'll pass. Just thinking about it makes me want to Yatter-cry... which means tighty-whitey cry. (That's why I wear boxers.)




Dave of Apocalyptic Evenings with Skelly. No. The immovable object and the unstoppable force. Not really. Nacho cheese and dryer lint. Gross. Unemployed Skeletor and Dave of Apocalypse. That'll do I guess. With great power comes... ah, screw it. Our hand gestures say it all.

2 GOOD.

(All that's missing are the Rooty-Tooty-Fresh-and-Fruitys.)



And now - the BEST cosplay picture of the whole con.
Why, you ask? Look it over first... (drumroll please....) - it's because...




Deadpool had NOTHING to do with the other people in this photo.

I wanted a picture of Deadpool. The TMNT'ers thought I wanted a picture of them so they posed. Deadpool got out of the way, and I'm like, "No, you get in there too Deadpool."

DP was on the other side of Casey, but was pretty quick to flank April. (Sticking to character, Casey didn't say anything.) Where's Deadpool's right hand? Might April's enthusiasm tell the tale? Probably not - but either way Deadpool owes me a drink. Albeit inadvertently, it was because of me he got to get this close to April. But that's not what makes it the best picture.

It's the best cosplay picture of the con because, most importantly, I'm pretty sure this entire scenario is EXACTLY what the real Deadpool would've done in this situation. Nonchalantly mackin.

Lookout fellas, if Deadpool is real (which this photo obviously proves) he's coming for your girlfriends - and with that healing factor of his, you'll never beat him in a fight - so you'd better just hope your girlfriend isn't into wisecracking unkillable assassins. Since that's about as likely as you not wanting to be a spy with two sets of junk and an immunity to STDs, you should probably just remind her his face looks like hamburger, and just hope she's not into masks. Yeah - that's probably best.

Jeff Matsuda is STILL awesome (Wolverine vs Hulk)

I should begin by noting that this is a first. I am reaffirming that someone or something is awesome (as if my prior statement wasn't enough, or as if my judgment of awesomeness could be somehow fallible or weakened by the forward motion of time.) All that being said, it's because Jeff Matsuda is SO awesome that I felt the overwhelming urge to state it again. Why?

The new HULK VS DVD. Do yourself a favor and buy this.



Hulk Vs is a DVD with two roughly 45 minute animated films - Hulk vs Wolverine, and Hulk vs Thor. Or as I like to think of it, "Hulk vs Wolverine, plus another one." (I mean no disrespect to the guys who worked on Thor - it was also cool. But, it also had Thor in place of Wolverine.) If you haven't gathered by now, we have Jeff Matsuda's awesomeness to thank for Hulk vs Wolverine.

(spoilers below)

Hulk calls Wolverine "Little Man." He shouts "Hulk Smash" and that he's "strongest there is." Signature attacks and poses are used, covers are paid homage to. The WeaponX program is involved. Featuring: Sabretooth, Deathstrike, Omega Red (!), and a fantastically-executed Deadpool - pun seriously not intended.

Deadpool talks incessantly, mocks nonstop, gets his arm cut off and complains to himself while he puts it back on. Fan-tastic. Sabretooth talks about how after Wolverine's dead, they'll "drop Hulk on an orphanage, or somethin." The characterization here is just great. You can tell that the folks in charge knew and loved the source material. Did I mention it's violent? I mean, it's not early-90s-anime-violent (alas, what is?) but there IS blood and it IS red. Thank you "straight to video."

So all in all, this gets one awesome out of a possible one awesomes, because when you get an awesome from me, just one, that's all you need. But sometimes you get two even though you only NEED one. Come to think of it, JM doesn't actually NEED any awesomes. All I know is this - maybe a person can't be knighted twice (at least not without becoming some sort of super-ghost-killing-knight made out of Voltrons) but, Jeff Matsuda, you have been twice awesomed. Believe that.

On a separate note: I neither know nor care much about Thor, but here's what I took away from his story. Loki might be sort of right to hate Thor, Loki has a hot super-tall daughter who rules hell (every part of that is awesome), and since Thor chose Sif over Enchantress I kind of have to question his ability to make the wisest decisions.

Attention TDK Fans

Like it or not...



... Robert Smith thought of it first.

The instant I'm not looking, Batman...

I think I'll leave the clever captioning to you.

Lego Batman is Awesome

It's Lego, it's Batman, it's a new stand-alone story, and despite being cutesy, this is the best Batman video game yet - and not just because the others sucked.

It's a two-player co-op, but you can go solo and alternate controlling each character - which is nice. The AI of your buddy character is pretty top-notch too, in case you're on your own.

There's a lot of replay value, since you unlock extra suits and characters as you play that allow you to access to additional areas. Plus, if you beat the 'whole' game, you've only beaten half of it; there's a villain counterpart level to every hero level, and playing as villains is AWESOME. All the villains I've gotten so far are cool to play (except for the impractical Two-Face). I can't wait 'til I get Scarecrow, Joker, and Harley. For now, this is my free play homeboy.

Super-strength, super-jumps, AND he's Clayface.
WORD.

I'm only 1/3 of the way through, but I've already been on the receiving end of about 200% of the awesome that most games have - so a big thanks to all who worked on it.

If you have any current gaming system, do yourself a favor and pick this up!

Halloween Horror

It's Halloween, and if there's anything more terrifying than the ghouls and ghosts of, well... Ghouls and Ghosts... it is most surely, "One-of-a-kind-2008-Presidential-ticket Cabbage Patch Kids."

Nothing says 'relevant' quite like Cabbage Patch Kids. In 2008.

(Yes, these ARE on ebay, currently for a cool $635 to $3650 a piece - with 3 days left to go. In a recession.)



If bids are any form of indicator, Barack's sporting a cool $200 lead over McCain.

Does anyone else find it creepy that the McCain one actually sort of looks like him? (I mean sure, this one's a little taller, but...)

The Joe Biden one kind of looks like him too? What's with the George Washington hair? Maybe old people and babies have even more in common than I thought. And who could forget...

Cabbage Palin. Looks more like Roseanne to me.

I'll take the high road and skip over making any "box" related puns. Cuz I'm classy.

What's with her overstuffed-sausage legs? (Side note: Ex-President Clinton just texted me to say she looks "cankle-icious." How'd he know I was even writing this?)

So, if these words and images haven't brought your Halloween to a full-rolling boil of wickedry and feardom and crap-your-pants-alescence, I have one more thing up my sleeve.



(wait for it)




The composite McPalinBot.




"We're here with the open arms of mavericks who shoot wolves from helicopters, charge their children's airfare to the great state of Alaska... and who leave their faithful wives for younger, hotter, richer chicks. We'll tolerate with the best of them."
RUN!!!!

(And remember - Election Day is November 4th. Tuesday. THIS TUESDAY!!)

Castle Crashers: Awesome

Behold.



Not since the likes of River City Ransom has something so awesomely run-around-and-smash-whatever-moves come across the horizon. And my girlfriend will play it with me. That's about as ringing of an endorsement as I think any game can receive. $15 of xbox download points and worth every penny. (And there are animal friends. I dig the Bat that eats people's heads.)