Keep in mind, this is coming from the guy who wrote the country song "Tell Me if You Love Me 'fore I Spend $400 on Cheap Whiskey Again." I also rewrote 50 Cent's "In Da Club" as though the paraplegic leader of the X-Men was rapping about his material wealth and sexual proficiency (WITH rhyme scheme, thank you very much!). My brain just likes to stretch out and play sometimes. I didn't go for rhyme scheme here at all - this was just a one-off and I wanted it to be overall clunky but generally singable to the original melody. Here goes!
(Also, please note I could do much better with the photo below if I had anything but just MSPaint on this computer.)
SCENTED IN A MANNER OF PUBESCENT VIGOR
Hold fast to thine armaments, rally thine fellows.
‘tis joyous to suffer loss and masquerade.
The lady’s listless and rather cocksure.
Egads! I’ve knowledge of filthy designation.
Greetings! Greetings! Greetings! (Fairly contemptible.)
Greetings! Greetings! Greetings! (Fairly contemptible.)
Greetings! Greetings! Greetings! (Fairly contemptible.)
Greetings! Greetings! Greetings!
With yon candles snuffed, ‘tis less frightful!
Where we are presently located, make us merry!
Perchance I am a transmissible cretin!
Where we are presently located, make us merry!
A half-breed! One devoid of pigmentation!
Sanguinary insect! My nether urges!
Yea! Yea! Yea!
I’m least proficient in that which I excel.
‘tis as if I were anointed on high.
Our bantam band has existed eternal,
and will continue until things cease.
Greetings! Greetings! Greetings! (Fairly contemptible.)
Greetings! Greetings! Greetings! (Fairly contemptible.)
Greetings! Greetings! Greetings! (Fairly contemptible.)
Greetings! Greetings! Greetings!
With yon candles snuffed, ‘tis less frightful!
Where we are presently located, make us merry!
Perchance I am a transmissible cretin!
Where we are presently located, make us merry!
A half-breed! One devoid of pigmentation!
Sanguinary insect! My nether urges!
Yea! Yea! Yea!
I fail to recall my rationale for savoring.
Eureka! It draws my mouth open in a winsome gesture.
Observing stiffness, stiffness observes.
Anyhow, whatsoever, pay it no heed.
Greetings! Greetings! Greetings! (Fairly contemptible.)
Greetings! Greetings! Greetings! (Fairly contemptible.)
Greetings! Greetings! Greetings! (Fairly contemptible.)
Greetings! Greetings! Greetings!
With yon candles snuffed, ‘tis less frightful!
Where we are presently located, make us merry!
Perchance I am a transmissible cretin!
Where we are presently located, make us merry!
A half-breed! One devoid of pigmentation!
Sanguinary insect! My nether urges!
Yea!
A negation! (x9)
